The Loss of Consciousness on Earth
I have to say that I am most pleased with the movement I see happening now, even though I know that most people view that as a macabre statement on my part since they do not understand what I mean. I have intent to heal Earth now, but Earth is not going to heal without going through the upheavals involved in moving guilt out Her magnetic energy field.
Guilt is not in its right place on Earth anymore, and yet, the barest recognition of this brings up feelings of guilt in all of those who have not yet understood why they have guilt, what their guilt is or what is involved in moving guilt back. It is movement in your terror that you are feeling; your terror that you must make a place for guilt or you are not loving. Some things that have been on Earth for a long time, even from the very beginning, must go now. The guilt in this area says, among other things, that it is unloving to take this position and therefore, the ones who take this position are the ones who deserve to go.
Try thinking of it in this way: I am a great ball of light. My Light streams forth in all directions and flows into any space that is open to receive it. Within my Light, there are many places which are not open to receive my life. If these places were free, they would move out to the edge of My Light like so many bubbles rising in water until they pop into the atmosphere. Guilt would not mind moving away from Me until it could float peacefully where there is no pressure from My light moving it back.
Guilt has not been able to move back freely like this because it became entangled in the magnetic energy field. Guilt has not gained consciousness because it is not seeking to do so. It was not known what guilt was in the beginning. The experience of feeling guilt was necessary in order to know that is not love.
Now that the Mother knows that she cannot live in the presence of guilt, She is moving to expose guilt for what it really is, because guilt must be clearly seen in order to move it back without sending along lost Will that does not want to go with the guilt. As guilt moves back, My light to be able to expand into places that have not received My Light before. This process involves considerable upheaval, but it is necessary because love and guilt cannot coexist in the same space for reasons of vibrational differences.
The Will has had the belief that unconditional acceptance in Love meant making a place for everything. The Will has had the pain of trying to vibrate in the presence of guilt that does not move in response to the Will’s vibration. The guilt in the Will has caused the Will to feel that she could not allow Herself to move in the ways She needed to move. Because guilt was in the way, the Will was not able to receive Me to understand that it is not possible to be loving towards guilt.
When the Will was unable to find acceptance within Herself for guilt, the Will felt inadequate, unloving and unlovable. All the Will knew to do to try to be loving was to pressure Herself to stop vibrating and give the space to guilt. When the Will did this, guilt never noticed. It just filled the space the Will gave it and Will continued to feel pressured to back down even more. Most of the Will has backed down all the way into the Survival Chakra and has been held there. The Will has been feeling so overwhelmed by guilt that even when she realized she was going to die, the Will thought that I required this sacrifice. Rage fragmented out of the Mother all the way along here and gave the appearance of a masculine polarization.
Misunderstanding has taken the Will into death, near death and nearly irreversible pain while I struggled with my own feelings of inadequacy about being unable to reach the Will. By the use of the word death here, I do not mean the lifting of living essence out of the parts of the self that have lost their ability to vibrate; I mean the experience of those parts of the self which have lost their ability to vibrates in any way that allows them to live.
I have come to give these teachings now because I have finally understood how to reach those parts of the Will I have not been able to reach before. Making contact with the Will here was the most important first step and one that was not easy, given the presence of the guilt. The movement you are seeing on Earth now is the movement necessary to move these dead and almost dead parts of the Will out of the guilt that led them there.
The situation is very perilous for the Will because it is so weakened It cannot move very fast, and for the same reason, it cannot afford to move very slowly. What needs to move in the Will now are the most desperate of emotions that have never been given acceptance on Earth before. These are the feelings of Hell which have only been given in to in the most denied realities on Earth. Many times, in the process of moving these emotions, the Will is going to feel that it is too exhausted to go on, and yet, movement of more motion will often give the Will additional strength, strange as this may seem.
I want to introduce you now to some feelings you have not known before, no matter what your impressions are of Heaven or the Godhead. These feelings are feelings of joy that do not have to deny anything in order to be joyful, feelings of joy that have no under current feelings of being only an intermission in an ongoing war and joy that need not hold back because of what tomorrow may bring. To have these feelings, you must be free of all denials. The more you have limited the expression of some emotions, the more the capacity to experience and express all of the other emotions is also affected.
I want to point out again that denials are not something you identify as though they are poisons in your system that can be eliminated or neutralize through the use of proper antidotes. Denials cannot be solved by manipulating your Will until you have a false Will that allows you to pretend you are not involved in the pearls around you, and denial cannot be treated like a foreign presence to be removed.
Denial is everywhere you are not fully conscious. If you have denial you have guilt because you are not allowing your true vibration. If you have no guilt, you are no longer bound by the physical plane. You can leave it without dying first and without leaving your body behind. Instead, you can step up the vibration of your physical body to the speed of light.
Besides having denials where you are not fully conscious, you have denials you are not conscious of at all yet. How separated from the Light denials have been is what makes the difference in how they appear when the first begin to move. Mild denials are such things as the little lies you tell your friends and family in the name of not hurting their feelings. These have the grayness of guilt you are learning to recognize now, but these denials are not the ones lost Will needs to move now.
The deepest and darkest denials are the gapped rage and gapped terror it is necessary to address in this book. You are going to need some instructions on how to heal this gapped rage and terror because it has never been done before, no matter what anyone else tell you about it. The Mother’s deepest knowing says that if it had ever been healed before, things would not be as they are now. Identifying the gap and learning how to avoid triggering it is the best anyone has done with it so far. Even those who have allowed the gap to fight have not allowed it to finish.
To try to rid yourself of denials by vibrating them out is to lose yourself more than you are lost already and to lose what power you have left to heal the gap. To insist that you no longer have denials now that you have noticed them is to make the same mistake I made in the beginning. Intent to heal must understand the teachings I am giving now, unless you want to find itself seemingly inexplicably swept away with guilt you did not know you had but which must, nonetheless, move back now. If this brings up emotion in you, it is a necessary part of your process. If you do not feel anything, you have more reason to fear you cannot heal than if you are feeling more enraged or more terrified than you ever thought it was possible to feel. Rather than go past it, put the book down and move any emotion you can, no matter how slight. Don’t read past it.
This gap is nothing to fool around with. Most people who preached discipline and control of the emotions have done so because of their awareness of the gaps involved in the emotional body and the realization that any free expression of emotion sooner or later leads to the gap. Since judgment has been held against the Will for so long which has prevented healing here, it has long been thought that the Will is just gapped and nothing can be done about it. The Will fears this about itself.
If you have the feeling it is not going to be hard to heal this gap, you are not getting the understandings you need from these books and you need to move back from the gap you are not seeing and not toward it. If you misfire your healing here, you will not have another opportunity to try it again because you will be dead and I do not mean dead until you reincarnate, I mean dead. The reason I’m sounding so heavy-handed here is because, literally, whether you have a nuclear holocaust on Earth or not depends on how the gap is handled. I would tell you that not moving the gap is preferable to wrong movement except that the lack of movement here is no longer an option if life is what you seek.
Your starting place is feeling the presence of the gap and moving terror of the gap. Your terror may express first as denial of what I am saying or as rage, but you must move with it until you feel that it is really terror and then you must move into the terror. Once you feel the lack of love and compassion the gap has for itself and everything else, it won’t be hard to feel the emotions you need to move.
If you do not understand what I am saying here and why I am saying it, you do not understand how essence takes form in manifestation. I am not being unloving here. More light must come into the Earth now and the vibration in the gap must be allowed to rise until it crosses the gap and can receive My Light and know it what for what It is. If you manipulate this gap with visualizations of how it is suppose to move, or by other means, is highly likely you will not live to be healed.
This gap has been in place since the beginning of Creation and to heal it, you must go back into the place and the time of its forming. There is no other road open to you but to allow movement in emotions you have held back for so long that making contact with them is going to be most of the work. If you do not do this, guilt will have the power to take you into the death you have for so long in your confusion, thought was leading you to life everlasting. The death you will have here is the loss of any consciousness to know whether you are dead or alive
You all have places in you that already feel they want this because they believe they have no power to have life on their own terms. Some of you claim that you want this unconsciousness, but all of you have a real choice to make now and I prefer you make it as consciously as you can. If you have the feeling you do not want life, you need to know whether you are making this claim to avoid what is involved in really healing yourself or whether this is what you really want. If you make the choice to go unconscious, you are not going to be allowed to take any essence with you that is not aligned with this choice but is being held back by you from the movement it needs to escape this fate. In other words, you are going to face, on the way to your death, what ever you need to face to allow movement in whatever essence and needs to move to escape from you.
If the Mother has to vibrates this Will essence for you, you will not have it any more, because the Mother is going to take back any Will essence you have which is not aligned with your choice and without it, you are going to find that you cannot reverse this unconsciousness you are going into, even if you should decide later that you really don not want this unconsciousness after all.
The Mother is desperate to reach you already. If you deny her beyond her capacity and willingness to endure the suffering your denial is giving your Will, it will no longer be your Will. The Mother will take It in and leave you outside of Me as lost Light; and lost Light is what, by your own choices, you will have defined yourselves to be. I am going to be with the Mother unconditionally now and lack of receptivity to the Mother can no longer be allowed to live within my Light.
Most of you who are trying to be good do not think you have guilt. You think you are only trying to be loving and you want to put yourself above My words here. I want to tell you: You are so guilt-ridden you have lost the consciousness with which to notice it.
Guilt is not more powerful than My Light, but it is in the power position on Earth right now because My Light is not present where guilty is. In order for My Light to become more present, guilt has to move back. In order for guilt to move back, you have to see what it is. Then you must understand the feelings you have around the issue of what is love and what is not love. In order to do this, the magnetic energy field must be allowed to move freely.
A very important understanding to get now is that the gapped Will fears emotional movement enough to resist healing, even though conscious intent is to heal now. The Will knows intuitively that gapped rage and terror must heal or there will be no real healing at all; but still, the Will is afraid to go near these areas. The Will is able to intuit the presence of these gapped emotions, even if it cannot bring this recognition into the conscious mind or articulate this reality without help. The Will is living in fear that the gap will kill what remains of it like it has already killed the rest of the Will. Thus, much of the Will fears that movement will not bring healing, only more pain.
So overpoweringly intimidating is the presence of the gap that only those who have denied their own Wills heavily have been daring to confront it, and the gap has been killing them just as surely as if they had never struggle to become free of it. As long as the gap is there, is rules by intimidation and, making open expression of its presence often unnecessary. There is no such thing as Free Will in the presence of the gap.
Often, the only sign of the Will’s sensing of the gap is a subtle deflection of the direction thoughts or emotions are taking. So overpoweringly intimidating is the grip of the gap that any slight motion in the direction of the gap is usually halted by the Will in a manner it hopes will escape notice, because the Will believes its survival is based on avoidance of the gap. The will believes that if it is even noticed noticing the gap, the gap will get it. This is because I would not, for so long, admit that I had this gap or allow it to be noticed in any way that might suggest if there was any problem with it.
Guilt is in the gap, but it is even worse than guilt because it is hatred that guilt has created by holding back emotion until it has become so compressed and gapped from the reality were split off that it has almost no light left in it and it is not living in present time. Many think that if they hold back these emotions a little longer, what is in the gap will die and there will be no more problem.
These gapped emotions will die if they are held back much longer and they are so desperate for their own survival that they feel ready to kill anything that even looks like a threat to their survival. Not only is it not loving to kill the gapped emotions in this way, but the gap has claimed so much of the Will already that it now has the power to take everything else with it if it goes.
The darkness in this gap is what has been called evil, so do not diminish the importance of my words here by thinking you are going to heal this gap with a few release sessions. The gap can be healed, but only if you really move the emotions you need to move along the way to meeting the gap within yourself. The experience of moving emotion and feeling the healing it brings will give you the understandings, confidence and personal power necessary to heal the gap, instead of giving up when you meet it.
The gap I am talking about here this sometimes touched between men and women in domestic violence. When a lonely person gaps, he or she often goes and harm’s or kills that which represents the threat to his or her survival. There are many forms taken on by the lost Will here, so many forms that you will think you cannot understand them, but basically, the various parts of the self have been harming and murdering one another according to who is blaming who for what. The many images involved are all reflections of the judgment patterns involved.
It is possible to move into the gap without understanding it, but it is not possible to heal the gap this way. It also is not possible to have all of the understandings in advance of the experience of meeting these gapped emotions. Unfortunately, I cannot give you a road map here because it is impossible to tell you just how your own gap is going to move without having a retarding effect on your ability to allow it movement.
The most important thing is to become as real as possible with yourself and others while allowing as much of your true feelings as possible to express each day. Then, when you get to the gap, you will know you are there and that you are as prepared as possible. If you have another person near you who is also involved in this healing process, it can be most helpful. Such a person may be able to see your gap before you do. You may also not be able to trust another person here; you will have to go on your own intuition.
If a person near you was hurling blaming rage at you, or is not moving emotion in response to you, or is pressuring you to move emotion you do not feel is yours to move, you can know you are very near the gap either in you, or the other person, or both of you. It is very possible to go into the gap if you allow your true responses here and you must decide whether it is the right time to allow it or not. If not, remove yourself from the situation as fast as possible and express which you can allow in a place that feels safe to you.
Even though you may know this in advance of the situation, it is not possible to talk to your gap in advance. It also may not be possible to recognize your own gap until you move into it, and when you move into it, you may not be conscious of what you have done, even when it passes. This is why I must caution you not to try and trigger another’s gap until you get the rest of your Will moving as much as possible. I also know that many of you are going to trigger the gap without consciously realizing you’re going to do it. If you cannot help it, then it is not wrong.
The gap is not aware that is going to heal. The gap is not aware of anything, even when it moves, other than the ancient imprints it received so long ago. Nonetheless, when it moves is the only time you have to get consciousness into the gap. At first, you may only be able to become aware that you are in the gap, but this is enough to establish a link between yourself and your gap.
Little by little, as you move the gap, you will be able to bring more consciousness into it. When you get to the gap, you must proceed as slowly as necessary, but as quickly as possible. The gap will become aware of its own healing as is happening.
After each movement in the gap, you are going to have feelings of guilt about the emotional expressions which have surfaced there. After you have moved in the gap, you will also need to move in the fear of the gaps unlovingness because this fear has kept the guilt in place all of this time.
You have violence in the gap and you can minimize, or channel, the violence there by giving fear as much direct expression as possible. In My opinion, it is better to go into direct expression of fear than to go into avoidance here. The gap is going to frighten you, and if you go past the fear; the gap is going to have a chance to get you. However, you are going to have to learn to go into direct expression here; the gap only knows acting out of emotion and is imprinted with overriding fear and taking action against the threat.
The most important thing to give is your real response to the gap, no matter how risky it might seem, rather than a fake response. Love is not going to move into the gap right away because the gap is too far away from love as it is. The gap is not ready to give or receive love and you cannot love the gap right away either because the gap cannot be loved as it is.
If hatred is your first response to the gap, is not wrong, but do your best to move back from the gapping person while you are expressing this hatred rather than attacking the gap with it. If you do attack the gap and get hurt, it is necessary for you to take responsibility for your part in it. You are going to have a hard time getting the gapped person to take any responsibility for what has happened because he or she is going to insist it is all your fault because you made the gap feel threatened or provoked. This is what is imprinted in the gap. You will have to move through hatred and blame to see the role you have played here and so will the gapped person. Aggressing toward the gap is, in part, expressing your own gapped rage, in part, self-defense, in part, the intensity of the insistence that the gap expand its consciousness beyond what it already holds, but it is, in part, your own gap from the fear involved.
When aggression toward the gap indicates movement of gapped rage in avoidance of the gapped terror you also hold, you are moving in accordance with the ancient imprints which avoided the terror. It is not a matter of trying to go into terror you do not feel. It is a matter of opening the space within yourself to notice and allow the terror that has been denied.
The gapped rage you want to attack also needs to move into its terror, but it is not possible to move into this terror until enough rage has moved to allow it. People who have moved into the gap without being able to understand it have gotten caught in the rage and blame, self hatred and guilt, whether they blame self or the other. Their own reflection of terror avoidance has not been found because they have not gone far enough into their movement. This awareness must be found in the Will that has been denied here, not just in the consciousness that is talking to this denied Will. Understanding this reflection is going to bring the healing needed.
It is not possible to move compassion into the gap that wants to force terror on another as a means of avoiding terror itself until you have experienced the gap enough to understand in your Will why this gap took place in the beginning.
Holding back emotions is not right and the pressure of doing this has caused the gaps that must now be healed. The action of the gap is response to the pressure of being pushed on so much that its survival seems to be threatened. Whether survival is actually threatened or not, the gap does not allow itself to notice. The gap is holding an old, denied feeling of terror about the compression I was already feeling when I pushed on the Mother in the first Creation. I did not know what My feeling of terror even was then and I reacted by pushing on the Mother without knowing I was going to do it. I thought She was trying to kill me, but there was no conscious thought process your with which to analyze whether this was true or not. I pushed on Her too hard, but I did not know that either; it was a reaction from being held back for so long because I did not know how to move.
When you move into your gap, you need to realize that holding back for so long has caused it, and immediate balance is not going to be found just because you have realized this. What this seemingly simple, original act caused is all of what Lost Will has to heal now. It is essentially all the Original Cause there is, but it has affected everything, so everything needs healing now.
Holding back is not right, but now that it has happened and opened the space, or the gap, for guilt that it did, you also cannot simply turn your gapped emotions loose. Allowing movement that is out of your control because it has been outside of the consciousness for which you have had normal acceptance for so long does not bring healing results because intent to heal is not present there. Intent to evolve is not even present.
Although I do not recommend holding back or controlling emotions that have been denied but have consciousness in them when they return to you, I am saying that you must gain some measure of control over the expression you are going to allow these gapped emotions to take. They are going to want to kill or seriously maim, and they are not going to want to be deterred. Nonetheless, you are going to have to move in a little at a time and get enough consciousness in there that you can control the form of expression these emotions are going to take. Once they gain consciousness, control will no longer be necessary.
The original holding back took place from a lack of experience. My Light was not polarize into Spirit and Will yet, or even differentiated very much of all. All I consciously connected to at the time was a feeling of all unbearable pressure on me that had to move back. I did not know that my Light was causing the feeling of compression because of the expansion taking place in it from awakening into consciousness.
The Mother did not know she needed to move back and give my light space for this. We did not even know that feeling and thought had to connect to one another. In this case, they did not, which is why there is no consciousness in the gap. Through movement in the Will, the Mother is going to have to allow Herself to notice that She had a feeling of unbearable oppression from pressing of My light upon Her.
We each had the feeling the other had to move back, but this did not connect to Our thought; We just pushed. We, actually, both pushed on one another at the same moment, but since the Mother received the greater harm, She assumed this meant I had aggressed on Her with a superior power and the intent to harm Her.
These are ancient imprints that have not come into conscious thought, and yet they govern all of Our lives. Movement here is going to allow consciousness that will bring forth the understanding needed.
Originally, I called this action the “survival instinct,“ because I had not determined it by thought but had taken the action I felt necessary to survive. Thus “survival instinct“ has been judged against as the base and lower nature of man and is not sanctioned. Instead, in moves in a state of denial, coming out only when a person is so desperate there is either willingness to let go of control or the loss of the ability to retain control. This has not allowed balance to be found and has increased the denied state in which this “ instinct “ dwells. Operating in such a state of denial, this “instinct“ has often not even have the ability to save the person because it has been allowed out too late to have time to gain the consciousness necessary in his perceptions. Thus, it makes the old mistake of acting as though survival is based on eliminating what it perceives to be the threat. That is all that was present, in terms of thought, in the feelings We had then. Nothing new has entered the gap since then.
Your consciousness in the gap is going to wake up from this place. To contact it, you have to go to the place where it really is. When you get there, you will have the feeling the gap is totally out of control, and might be, which is why you cannot allow it to express freely until you know it better and it has more consciousness of you present with it. The gap has a long way to go to catch up with the rest of you, but it can get there if you help it. You have to allow it to move as much emotion as possible without allowing it to move in ways that cause great harm.
You may want to attack the person triggering you, and you may not want to be deflected, which is why you have to control the expression here enough to get the rage and terror moving in ways other than the old pattern that feels you have to kill to live.
If you do not pressure yourself to go into the gap before you are ready, and if you follow the steps I am giving here, you will live through the gap and see it healed. If you do not feel ready to heal your gap, do not allow yourself to be pressured into it. If you do not feel ready, do everything else you can first so that when you get there, you will have enough personal power to handle it. If you feel ready to move into the gap, you almost have to allow someone or something to give you the pressure you need to cross the gap to the other side where the emotions live hidden. You can make the choice consciously to allow them to trigger you, but the moment in which they trigger you may not be a moment of conscious awareness that it is happening or you will have more consciousness present than this gap has and you will miss it. You will get there if you keep trying though. The more ready you are, the more you will see the gap being reflected to you in your outer reality.
The Mother is already moving to close Her gap with My Light and you need to move along with Her if you want Her help. Reality is that only a few of you are going to be able to move through this gap now. Those who feel they cannot move through the gap now should not be pressured to try it before they are ready. Do not allow yourself to be pressured out of fear the complete healing is not possible unless you move through the gap now. You will make better progress giving expression to the fear that full healing is impossible than to go pass this fear and jump into an experience for which you do not have readiness.
It is nearly impossible to gain the full healing necessary, and you need to allow movement around the images that hold this impossibility in place. No matter what anyone else tells you at the understanding level, it is not reason to disregard yourself or the feelings you need to move. What you have to move here are your real feelings. It may be just as beneficial to you to move your fear of the gap as to go into the gap itself.
What needs to be understood here is that the problem has been with Us from the very beginning, was hatred from the very beginning and has not moved from the very beginning. The feeling that it is not, therefore, possible to really change the way it is, is what is giving impetus to the feelings of doom most people are trying to avoid their lives.
Any movement you can do in your Will, will help you to get ready for your next step. The healing of the gap in any one place will help the healing of the gap in all other places. I have My Light with you now and any movement you make toward opening to receive Me will find Me there already, because I have to be that quick in order to close the gap.
In the story follows, I am not going to mention the presence of the gap very often, or the effect it has on what happens, other than to tell you where and how these gaps took place, but if you begin to notice that the gap has an affect on everything, you will not be wrong. It is the same with guilt. I cannot point out each time guilt has presence or there will be no story left, only a long boring lesson on the role played by guilt, the gap and everything else that played a part in interfering with the free flow of essence toward the realization that it was Love seeking to understand itself. Even if I gave you the long boring lesson, you would not be able to comprehend.
Give it more time; if what I am saying seems like it is too much for you. In time, you will understand that this is not wrong understanding to give now.
The Loss of Consciousness on Earth
Four Winds Publications
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Santa Fe, N.M. 87501
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